Training 10/30 & 10/31

Thursday:
Deadlift - worked up to 335x8 (blah. Wanted 10, but whatever)
A. Single-leg calf raise w/ DB - 50 - 2x12/leg
B. Hanging Leg Raise - 2x10
A. KB Swings - 6x10
B. 4-way neck - 2x12 each

20ish minutes on the bike, HR ~120

Friday:
DB Bench - 90x21 (wanted 25)
Inverted row w/ 20 pound chain - 25 reps
A. PJR pullovers - 4x12
B. Lateral raises - 20s - 4x12

Something jacked up with my tricep tendon near the insertion. Not sure what it is, but it started bothering me randomly the other day. Pressing didn't feel particularly good, but wanted to push through it. Did the pullovers instead of pushdowns to keep from aggravating the triceps. Really hoping for 20+ with the 100s next week.

Training 10/27 & 10/28

Didn't weigh myself due to a long night of little sleep and bit of a hectic morning as a result. However, I did weight myself today (Tuesday) - 193. Yuck.

Monday training:
Squat - 95x10, 135x8, 185x5, 225x3, 275x10
Went about as I had hoped in terms of how the weight "felt," however, I didn't focus nearly as much as I needed to, and technique suffered as a result. Gonna have to be on my game next week for 295.
A. Calf raises - 195 - 3x12
B. Ab wheel - 3x10
A. KB swings - 10x10
B. Neck - 2x15 each direction

Tuesday training:
Neutral-grip chinups (w/ 20 pound chain added): 1x13
Close-grip bench - 180x6,5,4,3
Kroc rows - 90x30
A. DB shrugs - 100s down to 60s x15 each
B. Hammer curls - 25s - 15, 12, 10
Pushups - 1x60 (45 without stopping)

Training 10/24

DB Bench - 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s each x5, then 80s x26

Inverted Row - 5x5, then 1x25

Tricep pushdowns - 4x25

Lateral Raises - 15s - 15, 15, 10, 10

Training 10/23

Decent day. Nothing special. The deadlifts were a bit ugly at the end, and it felt like after about rep 5 my legs just died. Like it just felt like they had no juice. Got the work done anyway.

Deadlift - worked up to 315x10
A. Calf raises - 185 - 3x12
B. Ab wheel - 3x10
A. KB swings - 10x10
B. Neck

Finished with 20 minutes on the bike with HR around 120.

I've been trying to finish each session with 20 minutes of cardiac output work. I must say, I feel outstanding afterward. Obviously it adds some time to the session, which is hard if you're time crunched, but again, the work is well worth it.

Training 10/21

Felt pretty good again today. Some of the lifts didn't go as well as I had hoped, but oh well. I have pretty much mapped out the next 4 weeks of training, so that has me feeling a bit more upbeat as well.

Neutral-grip chinups - 18 (PR, although my previous best was done at about 210 pounds I think)

A. Close grip bench - 3x6 @ 165

B. 1-arm DB row - 50, 60, 70, 85 x5 each, 80 x30/arm

Hammer curls - 25x15,12,10

DB shrugs - 100, 90, 80, 70, 60 - each x20

Pushups - 50 (43 without stopping, only stopping position was top of pushup position)

Bike - 20 minutes, HR around 120

I was feeling the shrugs more in the levator than the upper traps, so next week I need to either drop weight or reps or perform them a bit differently to hammer the upper traps.

Training 10/20

Weight - 191.8. Ugh.

275x15. No excuse for the failure. Body felt good, mind felt good. Just didn't get it done. Finished with calves, abs, swings, neck.

Trying my best to just flush it. I have to remember that it is no more an indictment of anything than I simply failed on a lift. But I can't help but feel like it's just a further incrimination of myself as a failure in, well, everything. I know the answer - pick yourself up and work toward success - but I can't help feeling like I don't have time for it. But alas, there is no other choice. Moving forward.

For the next few weeks, while I don't have it totally mapped out, the plan is 4 lifting days with an upper/lower split. It will finish the accumulation phase of training, moving into a transmutation block. While I feel like I have a decent grasp on the concepts of block training, we will see if I am actually able to make it work. I feel like, especially lately, the training has been so sporadic that it probably won't work the way it is supposed to. I also haven't managed to put on the weight I was hoping, which only adds more fuel to the failure fire.

10/17

Shit show. Not even worth writing about. I thought that I was ready to give it a go, but I wasn't ready. It's hard to tell if it was entirely psychological (that was at least half of it) or physiological (I know I wasn't at full strength, but not sure if I was in the right place to do it or not). What's frustrating is I feel like I was ready to do it last Friday, but again, a confluence of factors in life got in the way. Combine that with the stress of the next 4 days, and I think the accumulation of it all made for just too much to overcome right now. I feel like some good restorative work over the next few days, combined with good sleep should put me ready to go Monday. If not then, it's not going to happen anytime soon I'm afraid.

Training 10/13

Failed on rep 17 at 275 today. Everything after sucked. Bench is in the shitter. Life is in the shitter. Give it a go again Wednesday or Thursday.

Training Update

Really this should be a lack of training update. Had every intention of hitting 275 yesterday on breathing squats, however, sometimes life gets in the way. I would say the stress incurred was equal to or greater than the 275 would have been, but alas, we cannot count that. Assuming I can get some sleep in before Monday (admittedly a bit of a grand assumption), 275 WILL go down then.

Training 10/8

Pull day. I did no deadlift or RDL work today in order to spare my legs for Friday. I want there to be no excuse (not there would be otherwise). Decent session, nothing special.

Band pulldowns - gray band - 17+4+5
Barbell shrugs - 225 - 15+8+8
Chest-supported DB row - 50s - 15+5+5
Preacher curl over bench - 50 - 12+5+6
Wrist extension, arms on bench - 10s - 1x20
Barbell wrist curls behind back - 95 - 1x35

Training 10/6 & a note on breathing squats

Body weight - 190. Ugh.

I've picked up the eating, and abandoned my previous approach in the hopes of increasing muscle mass a bit more rapidly. Not that I'm going to become a mass monster overnight, but the fact that I'm at the same body weight 4 weeks later is quite discouraging. I'm attempting to perform a "clean" bulk to the extent that I can - mostly whole foods, with a mix coming from protein (1+ g/lb per day), carbs and "good" fats (olive oil, nuts, etc.). We shall see how it works out. I do feel like I'm not as lean as I was before, so who knows.
Finally got 265 on breathing squats today. To say I was happy would be a vast understatement. I racked it after 5 reps on my first attempt, deciding I "didn't have it," then reminded myself that this was exactly the type of shit I'm trying to get away from. Then I also reminded myself, "it's only a little bit of pain. It goes away." The same shit I talked about last week. So, I got under the bar again, and away I went. The only real issue was that after I got to 15 without too much trouble, I started looking ahead to 275, and how great it was going to be after I accomplish that. The thing that had gotten me to 15 reps - focusing on each individual rep as it came - went out the window, and with it, I damn near failed the last rep or two. Sun Tzu has a quote about that type of thing in Art of War; I don't remember it exactly, but it's something about letting your guard down after a victory. Basically, don't count your chickens.
The rest of the workout was a bit mediocre in that I didn't come close to beating my reps on incline bench because I was so wiped, but I really didn't care. Upright rows and tricep pushdowns were being done with higher resistance, so I was just setting new numbers with them anyway.
Finally, a note on breathing squats. After perusing videos on YouTube of "breathing squats," it occurred to me that I'm the only one who's read the fucking book. Breathing squats are not just a set of 20 rep squats. It is performed with 2 deep breaths, then a 3rd (holding it during the descent, exhaling on the way up) between EVERY REP. As it says in the book (Super Squats by Randall Strossen), a good set should take 3-5 minutes. Note that I'm not shitting on people doing 20 rep squats - they're hard as hell, and good on people for doing them. But they're not breathing squats.

Breathing squats - 265 - 1x20
Incline bench - 155 - 12+3+3
Upright rows - 75 - 15+6+6
Gray band tricep pushdowns - 16+6+8
Face pulls 2.0 - 1x50

Training 10/1

After the failure on Monday, my course of action was to retry 265 Wednesday, succeed, and hit 275 Friday. Unfortunately, that plan hit a bit of a snag. I felt good going into the session - sleep was not what it needed to be, but nutrition to that point in the day was on point, I was feeling good going into the warmup, all seemed poised for success. I went back to what I was doing for warmups a few years ago - lots of movement, animal walks, calisthenics, and added in some box jumps to wake me up a bit more. After some good warmups, I got under the bar and started going. At 9 reps I decided I "just didn't have it" and racked the bar. As I sat on the bench contemplating jumping off a bridge, I decided to rest a few more minutes and give it another go. Feeling fully rested, I tried again, but failed on rep 16. While it was a solid try, it was the same psychological failure as last time. While I tried to think positively, I basically told myself before descending that if it was tough, I wasn't getting back up. Sure enough, that's what happened.
So I've decided these next 4 days will be a restorative mini-block. I've had quite a bit of stress in my life lately, and as we know, stress is cumulative. So I'll use the next 4 days to perform quite a bit of aerobic work, contrast showers, catch up on sleep, and use some heating and anti-inflammatory ointments if need be to prepare for Monday. Friday I will still lift, though more along the lines of a "typical" bodybuilding-type day.
Note that none of this is to excuse what happened. It was a psychological failure, and I will continue to beat myself up for it. But 265 will come and go, as will 275.