Belief is very powerful. Any great accomplishment must first
start with it. The very belief that something can be accomplished is the first
act. However, belief alone will not accomplish anything. It is akin to
knowledge – it is important, and necessary, but by itself, it will get nothing
done.
I was struck by this when listening to Opie and Anthony the
other day. It’s a radio show that I love listening to, for a variety of
reasons. It covers the whole gamut of stupid comedy that I enjoy, with varying
political and social opinions that allow and force you to think. Jim Norton,
the 3rd host of the show, is very open about his past and present
demons. Jim is a hilarious comedian, and he also very much is of the mind that,
if one is to criticize others, you must be very open about your own faults.
And of course, to bring it all back around, the crux of this
writing is this – Jim has his own show, following O&A, on Wednesday
mornings. He takes calls from listeners who have legitimate issues, and Jim
helps attempts to help them through it. Addicts, marriage counseling, sex
advice, it’s all covered in some way, shape, or form. And Jim is also very up
front that he is not an expert, but as with many things, principles can cover
many of the topics, and while it may behoove you to see an expert to seek
specifics, the principles can often guide you through.
One day, a man who was a recovering alcoholic called in. He
had been sober for about 10 years, hit a rough patch, and had fallen off the
wagon about a year earlier. He called in to Jim, in the midst of drinking, and
explained his problem. As Jim told him, “you know what to do.” The man admitted
that he knew what to do, but didn’t want to do it. And that’s exactly the
point. Frequently in our lives, we know what the best course of action is.
However, to avoid the pain that comes with it, we simply avoid it. Whether it’s
a difficult conversation with a spouse, significant other, friend, or family
member, or getting motivated to train or workout, or face addiction (to drugs,
sex, food, or whatever it may be), or whatever the issue is, we would rather simply
avoid that pain, AND the inevitable positives that await, simply because we
don’t want to do the work. Perhaps it’s not even as serious as those things –
your honey-do list, a list of projects at work or home, whatever it may be. But
seeing the work in front of you can be a scary thing, because sometimes you
also don’t know the depth. You simply must start digging. Because no matter how
long it takes, one thing is for certain – if you don’t start digging, it won’t
get done.
I also think that addiction is far more common than we
think, but probably not just substance addiction. Again, I’m sure there are
many people who are addicted to things that you simply aren’t aware of, but I
think today’s addiction is to entertainment. With the internet at our
fingertips, literally, on phones, laptops, whatever, it’s easier than ever to
distract yourself. No one can have a quiet moment. And yet, it is in these
quiet moments that some of your best clarity may emerge. I’m certainly as
guilty of it as anyone – rather than sit down and take the time to do good
work, if I can’t get things done quickly I’m looking for the next source of
entertainment. Embrace the quiet. Embrace the stillness. Realize that the time
will pass by whether you are playing a game or doing work. So you might as well
get something productive done.
There was another lesson to be learned from the same show. In
an earlier call, Jim spoke to a recovering addict who had, in a way, relapsed,
but basically didn’t want to admit it (to himself or others). And really, what
it was about was trying to keep his sobriety date intact. And while I’ve never
been a substance addict, I can see how that would be important to someone – the
ability to say “X number of years sober.” But, as Jim also went on to say, that
date really means nothing. While it’s symbolic, the only thing that truly
matters is that you’re sober now. That each day, you are working to stay sober.
Because, as Jim has also noted, you’re always an addict. You never actually
“win.” Sure, some people may get to the point where they can sit and have a
casual drink here and there. But they are few and far between. And, as with
most things, I saw a great parallel between that and life in general. We are
always willing to work hard at something, always looking for the payoff. Looking
for the end. Looking for the time when we can just give in, and relax. But in
reality, that time will never come. Or at least not for a long while.
I remember when reading Success is a Choice by Rick
Pitino, he outlines a sort of framework for achieving your goals. At the end,
he talks about what to do when you achieve them. And the answer is, “set new
goals.” Now, this doesn’t seem very appealing to most. Because it seems the
whole point of goal-setting is to get shit done so you can relax, right? But,
if you want to be successful, it’s simply about setting one goal after another,
and putting one foot in front of the other. Learning to crawl before you walk.
Then learning to walk before you run. And so forth. As the saying goes, “the
journey of a thousand leagues begins with a single step.”
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